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 GUILDFORD,
ENGLAND – King of the God Sim genre, Peter Molyneux, was deified yesterday as He
ascended to the heavens to rule His flock with an iron hand. Prior to His
enlightenment, Molyneux gave His followers a small pamphlet laying out His
commandments. The booklet, entitled Populous
Aedificare, will also serve as a security protection method for when the enlightened
game designer sends His wrathful commands down from above.
Rival
software houses are already raising concerns as small bands of Molyneux’s followers
gathered outside their offices; killing sheep, building small houses from
nearby trees and erecting papal magnates in car parks.
Though many people
within the games industry deny any link to the recent volcano that erupted directly
underneath the offices of Bullfrog’s rival developers, Agnostic Software,
Molyneux’s earthly populous have gathered at the site to worship their illuminated
leader by sacrificing programmers who fled from the lakes of flowing lava.
New CEO of
Bullfrog, Fred Gallway, who took over after Peter Molyneux ascended yesterday
dinnertime, told reporters that it was business as usual for the righteous
flock, though non-believers should think carefully before setting up house near
the water’s edge.
“We’ll all
miss Peter, but his presence can still be felt in our hearts and minds.”
Gallway said. “Also in the tornadoes, raining fire, swamps and random lightning
strikes that ravage the homes of our enemies. In His honour, we’ll be building
a new fortress headquarters for Bullfrog Studios on the perfectly flat patch of
land that’s appeared just over there.”
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