EgoGamer.net - Red Ring of Death Linked To Mad Cow Disease

Red Ring of Death Linked To Mad Cow Disease

Written by Tom Jackson - Arch Editor

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

An early symptom of vESE seen here in an Xbox 360 that can no longer stand up.

Xbox 360 owners the world over are still reeling from an epidemic which sees their consoles suddenly an inexplicably cease operation; displaying the ‘Red Ring of Death’ syndrome that’s believed to be caused by overheating. But new findings from the Institute for Unexplained Electronic Deterioration suggest another possible explanation; variant ESE.

Electronic Spongiform Encephalopathy is a degenerative firmware condition that causes instability, poor performance and eventual, terminal hardware failure in electronic systems. The condition is caused by the use of improper and outdated firmware in new electronic devices. Due to a prolonged incubation period, the symptoms generally do not present themselves until after the device’s warranty period has expired, causing significant vexation for consumers who often shop on internet auction sites.

Similar symptoms have been found in organic systems, such as cows and Papua New Guinean cannibals. The infectious agent found in brain tissue and spinal columns of animals and humans was spread when the remains of infected species were fed to subjects through animal feed and ritual mortuary cannibalism. Also known as BSE (Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy), variant BSE, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease and Kuru, this fatal neural degenerative disorder has been shown to spread across different species; including, according to the new report, videogame systems.

Links between ESE (Electronic Spongiform Encephalopathy) and mass manufactured, high-end gaming systems has never been previously investigated. Professor Alberto Balsam from the Institute for Unexplained Electronic Deterioration stated that if proven to be accurate, this strain of variant ESE could mean the global epidemic of gaming hardware failures will only increase.

In 2002, over 3 million cheap, knock-off, hardware hacked MP3 players had to be destroyed due to an ESE outbreak.

“Variant ESE is a potential problem that no hardware mass manufacturer wants to contemplate,” Balsam told the electronic manufacturer’s community in his report. “But the constant and unchecked use of outdated and recycled code could lead to a hardware disaster not seen since the Coleco Adam computer.”

The report goes beyond the link with the Xbox 360 hardware issue and expresses the Institute’s overall concern with cannibalizing electronic components and redundant code for use in new systems. The practice is rife within the budget range of lifestyle technologies, such as knock off music players, mobile phone accessories and unofficial, unlicensed game system peripherals. Many of these cheap items – that are often a quarter the cost of official products – carry a hereditary strain of ESE acquired by the mortuary cannibalism and continued usage of outdated components and software from surplus stock.

While more common among cheap Chinese imports, ESE has been identified in mass-marketed products in the past. Major updates to the Windows operating system has exhibited the degenerative symptoms of ESE in several cases, such as the 98, NT and 2000 varieties which all slipped into dementia soon after they were fed on recycled Windows 95 code. Similarly, herds of the latest Vista edition in certain areas of the world (where early adoption of new technology is rife among consumers) showed evidence of the condition after a prolonged incubation period.

Although the European PS3 systems had their backward compatibility removed, these Japanese version had to be quarantined.

In 2002, high levels of ESE was found in hardware hacked memory chips of cheap MP3 players when over 3 million units had to be destroyed to stop the infection from leaving Hong Kong. More recently, a virulent strain of the electronic disease was detected in MP4 players after consumers reported the devices were incapable of playing even the lowest quality video and needed badly translated, unstable software to convert files before use. The devices were found to have been gorged on outmoded technology force fed to the MP4 players after manufacture in unofficial workshops, and showed signs of fatal volatility soon after the short warranty periods expired.

Microsoft has dismissed the report as exhibiting inadequate research, and denied there is any evidence suggesting that variant ESE could be transmitted through inadequate backward compatibility systems. The use of recycled code from the original Xbox has proven to be a problem area for the follow up console, the Xbox 360, however. Problems with compatibility, stability and performance with games from the original console were rife from the system’s launch, prompting Microsoft to begin providing updated versions of the games via an online service with the prion protein code removed – essentially making the games immune to vESE.

Professor Balsam with a Red Ring of Death sufferer just moments after its warranty expired.

And although Sony has made no official comment on the report, experts suggest some inside knowledge of the condition due to the early removal of backward compatibility functions from European PlayStation 3 units. The electronic health of Sony’s European stock has since remained impressively strong, though vESE’s prolonged incubation period and rumours that a reintroduction of software based backward compatibility are causes of significant concern for Professor Balsam and the Institute.

“Our research into variant ESE will continue,” said Balsam. “This is a serious epidemic that will only get worse while game hardware and software manufacturers continue to rehash old code in an attempt to maximize profits. A cure is always beneficial, but prevention is the best remedy. So long as gaming consoles are continually fed outdated and deficient software, variant Electronic Spongiform Encephalopathy could spread throughout the industry and cause more consoles to become terminally faulty just after their warranties expire.”