 REDMOND,
WASHINGTON - The seventh generation console wars took a serious turn today when
six Sony employees attending a game launch party for a new Xbox 360-only title in Washington were taken
captive by Microsoft PR representatives.
The six Sony
workers are being held in Microsoft's headquarters building in Redmond, though
a video has been released showing them to be unharmed. The hostages read a prepared
statement which directed blame for the heightening console war at Sony and its
aggressive PlayStation 3 campaigns.
"We are
being well treated," said Angela Foreman, head of SOE's Strategic Sales
Planning. "Microsoft has done nothing to provoke our trespass on its territory,
and all culpability for infringement of the E3 Agreement and continued
degradation of the videogame industry rests entirely with Sony.
"During our
detainment, we have been privileged to enjoy some of the finest console games
we've ever played, and urge all marketing aggressions against Microsoft to
cease immediately. We state these facts under no duress." During this final
statement, Miss Foreman broke down in tears.
A spokesman
for Microsoft insisted that the Sony employees were free to leave the headquarters
whenever they wished, but had completely lost track of time during a
particularly exciting multiplayer game of Gears of War.
The hostage
crisis is the latest in a long line of hostilities between the console giants
after Sony won the optical format conflicts earlier in the year.
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